The “don’t” comes in when I lose. I can be a good sport about losing once. But twice in a row and I start getting cranky. When I lose at three different games in succession…like I did a few minutes before writing this…get out of the way! And all of my vitriol is aimed at the poor man sitting across from me who’s only trying to use his best strategy…just like I’m doing.

If I’ve got a winning streak going, I’m ecstatic. And that feeling hangs around for the rest of the day.

It’s been an ugly revelation. I hate to admit how easily my mood can be altered by something so superficial and unimportant. As our mothers told us, “It’s only a game!” But it’s got me thinking about all of the other things that affect me so easily. Anybody else let the number on the scale set the tone for the day? I recently read a blog post written by a woman who’d lost 100 pounds. Every morning on her way to that goal she’d trudge to the scale and, if her weight had gone down, it was going to be a good day. She’d put more energy into her workout, then spend a little extra care on makeup and picking clothes for work. That sense of victory stuck with her throughout the day. But…if the numbers said she hadn’t lost, or worse—she’d gained, it was going to be a miserable day. Unmotivated, she might skip her workout altogether then put on something loose and sloppy, give her face and hair the bare minimum, and trudge out the door for the day.

If she were my friend, I’d want to smack her silly. (In love, of course.) “Come on, girl, look at the big picture! You’re halfway to your goal! Put down those Cheetos! You’re doing great! Don’t let a little setback define who you are today!” But…will I believe the same kind of encouraging words if I say them to myself? Nope.

Add poor book sales, a one star Amazon review, or a perceived slight from a friend, and it all makes for an arsenal of things ready to go BOOM!

Here’s what I’ve figured out:
1. When it comes to losing at board games…I need therapy! If I’m playing with one of my grandkids, I’m thrilled for them when I lose. If I’m playing with friends, I just don’t really care either way. Clearly, there’s a deeper issue here and It’s going to take some serious alone time with the Lord to sort it out. I’ll let you know how that goes.

2. With everything else…the problem is my eyes are on ME. Why, when I know in my head that I am a cherished child of God who is righteous in His sight because His Son gave His life for my sins, do I care about such shallow, external things? Because, like Peter walking on the water, I’ve temporarily put my focus on something other than the pure, perfect, complete, beautiful wonder of a loving savior.

3. Losing is the antidote to being a poor loser. Lose the pride. Lose the desire to be the best. Lose the jealousy, and the need to be right. Lose the idea that you are defined by winning or losing.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3 ESV

“We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.” Romans 6:6 NLT

I’m keeping these verses handy for reference. I’m tired of letting my emotions get blown around like dandelion fuzz in the wind! I am NOT a slave to comparison, pride, or self-condemnation.

What triggers a lousy attitude for you? What helps you be a good loser?

Today, I am working up the courage to ask God to help me see my heart through His eyes.

I’ve been having fun lately taking close-up pictures. Seeing the delicate design of a daffodil is thrilling. A close-up picture of my hallway rug, however, brings on a whole different feeling. Dirt that can’t be seen from my eye level suddenly looks disgusting. Makes me want to grab the rug and run outside and give it a good shake.

Sometimes my heart needs a good shake, but I don’t always see the need because I find a lot of excuses for not taking a close look.

I have never hired a housecleaner, but if I did, I know I’d be running from room to room picking up and straightening before that person rang my doorbell. I’m so grateful I don’t need to work at cleaning up my heart before I ask God to help me take on the task. He sees all the microscopic dirt and, if I’m willing, He’ll show it to me and He will make it clean again.

My part of the cleanup job begins with not hiding in the corner with my eyes shut when the dust starts flying. I need to be willing to look at my failings and sincerely confess them. Next, I need to accept God’s forgiveness, stop thinking about all the dirt He uncovered, and move on by committing to only let clean things in and out from here on. Things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

One of the best tools I have in my heart-broom closet is Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Pure thoughts can fill our hearts and minds with so much clean, fresh air that we want nothing to do with anything that will pollute them.

But… (I almost deleted this part because it’s a downer, but the “but” is vital.) When we feel the floors of our heart getting sticky again, and they will, we need to start the process all over again. And, once again, our Heavenly Father will be there with His heavenly cleaning. It’s also crucial that we understand that, if we are true Christ followers, the things that muddy up our hearts and minds never rob us of our secure eternal place with Jesus. But they do make us less willing to throw open the front door to spend time with Him.

Will you join me today in praying Psalm 51:10?
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Some days, I wake up and immediately thank God for the blank-slate day stretched out in front of me. “Thank you, Lord, for this time with no one’s fingerprints on it. Thank you for the luxury of choice.” My mind starts to spin and twirl in a happy dance of wondrous possibilities. I can write. I can organize my files. Maybe hubby and I will go for a hike, or Facetime grandkids.

But that gift of choice can also lead me into the shadows. “This is bad. People are sick. Businesses are failing. We can’t go anywhere, see anyone. How long will this last?”

The shadows are scary because we have no idea what’s going to happen next. And that makes it so easy to think the worst. But I can choose to step out of the shadows and drag my negativity out into the light. I can choose to believe that God is doing things—good things—I can’t see.

Fifty years ago today, my father died. Suddenly, of a heart attack. I was seventeen. Six weeks earlier, I had broken up with my boyfriend. That morning, while our pastor sat in the living room with my grieving mother, I called that boy. His tenderness, support, and forgiveness in the midst of the darkest day of my life set the tone for a future that was brighter than I could ever have imagined. What I could not know then was that, fifty years in the future, we would be the proud and blessed matriarch and patriarch of a beautiful family that now numbers 28. I can’t help but wonder…if my father hadn’t died, would my life have taken a completely different turn?

If I put my focus on the darkness around me, I lose hope, I fail to believe that God is always creating, always sustaining, always working things out for the good of those who love him. If I choose a filter that lets in light and heightens colors, I can find joy, and hope for better tomorrows, no matter what is going on around me.

As I read this passage, my view of what is going on in our world right now floods with light and my focus on Him sharpens. I hope it brings you comfort and hope today too:
“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated…” Isaiah 61:1-4

Are you using the right filter today?

Truth is, standing around doing nothing was not in my job description. I was only 17 when I started waitressing, so I had a lot to learn about staying busy while you wait…to wait on people. There were always catsup bottles to be filled, stainless steel to be polished, windows to wash.

I’ve changed a bit in the last half century. I don’t stand around. I look for things to do because what I hate about waiting is that it feels like a waste of time. I should be DOING. But lately God has been showing me the beauty of NOT doing. Of sitting in his presence, hands folded and appearing idle, as I talk…and listen…to Him.

While swiping through photos of our Florida vacation, I came across these sunset pictures. Seems a bit redundant, doesn’t it? Why would anyone need eleven pictures of the exact same sunset? The answer…because I don’t want to miss anything. I have the utmost patience while waiting for that perfect shot, when the rays of the setting sun stretch out across the water like golden scepters and glaze the clouds in shimmering purple. If you just stand still, and do nothing but focus on the sun, the beauty shifts and changes with every passing minute.

The same thing can happen as you still your hands and thoughts and focus on the Son. A verse you’ve read over and over for decades is suddenly awash with gold…because it’s what He wants you to hear right now in this quiet moment. Without warning, you see a glimmer of light on a problem you’ve been wrestling with for days. He reminds you of someone you need to pray for or reach out to…someone who’s been lost in the shadow of your busyness.

A lot of us are waiting right now. Waiting to go back to work, for the kids to go back to school, for stores and restaurants to open. Waiting for a stimulus check. Waiting to hug someone. Waiting for a family member to come home from the hospital. During the waiting, have you been finding more time to be NOT doing? Who or what has God brought to mind? If you haven’t, let me encourage you to find a quiet place to fold your hands, close your eyes, and do nothing but worship and listen. We’d love to hear what the Lord is showing you in the silence today.

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” Lamentations 3:25-26

God doesn’t do triage. The cry of a young mom overwhelmed by the chaos of children who are normally in school is not pushed aside while God listens to the prayer of a child in a hospital bed separated from his family.

Jesus breathed His last and “At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” (Matthew 26:51) The curtain that had separated the Holy of Holies—the dwelling place of God on earth—from the rest of the unholy, unclean world ripped in half.

The first time I read that passage and understood its symbolism—that Jesus’s sacrifice meant we can have direct access to God—I was blown away. But then, this Easter, someone opened my eyes to a broader understanding. The torn curtain also meant God’s Spirit was released into the world. The Holy Spirit, the Comforter Jesus promised, would soon indwell believers, and would intercede for us. Giving us constant, 24/7, immediate access to our Father.

God doesn’t do triage. He doesn’t make us wait to be seen. He is El Roi, “the God Who sees me.” He is all-knowing. He knows the cries of our heart before they form on our lips. He hears us. “And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.” 1 John 5:14 He doesn’t tell us to take a number and wait in the hallway, or tell us our problem isn’t serious enough to warrant His attention.

Whatever you are struggling with, your access to God is guaranteed. Your problem is important to Him. He hears you.

Are you taking comfort from this truth right now, or finding it hard to believe?

Hubby and I are camping with three other couples in one of the most beautiful spots on God’s green earth…Door County, Wisconsin. The trees are just starting to turn, with bright pops of red and orange amid the rich dark green. On Tuesday we had lunch at a favorite tourist spot, Al Johnson’s Swedish restaurant. Besides being famous for scrumptious Swedish meatballs, pancakes, and lingonberries, the restaurant is known as the place with the goats on the roof. Yep, goats. A couple of them laze and graze on the grass roof as customers walk in and out below and use them as celebrity backdrops for selfies. As I gazed up at one of them, I thought, “Must be nice to be up there, above all the commotion.”

Ever have days like that, where you’d just like to put a little distance between you and the rest of the world? I love spending time with friends and family, but I’m a serious introvert and after hours of social time, I have to have some alone time. I got some on Wednesday in the most delicious way. We came back to camp after a fun lunch and indulging in ice cream and I cocooned myself in a soft blanket in a reclining camp chair. Cup of tea and a good book, and I was ready for some serious alone time. I napped and read and prayed and simply soaked up the sounds of nature and the luxury of nothing and no one demanding my time. Delicious!

I used to feel guilty about carving out time to be alone and relax. When the kids were young, it somehow seemed selfish to take time for myself. But it isn’t. In fact, it’s a necessity.

Alone time is Biblical. You know that, right? Jesus modeled it, so who are we to argue?

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:16)

“Because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to [his disciples], ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’ So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.” (Mark 6:31-32)

So I am hereby giving you permission get away to a quiet place, if only for a few minutes at a time. Take a nap, a walk, a bubble bath, read, journal, pray out loud, listen to worship music, sing…restore. We all need to reboot, reset, replenish our physical, spiritual, and mental energy.

How and where can you find alone time today? In the woods? Your bedroom? On a grass-covered rooftop?