Hubby and I have been playing a lot of games lately. Dominoes, Ticket to Ride, Port Royal, Splendor, Kings in the Corner… I thoroughly enjoy our afternoon time sitting across from each other…until I don’t.
The “don’t” comes in when I lose. I can be a good sport about losing once. But twice in a row and I start getting cranky. When I lose at three different games in succession…like I did a few minutes before writing this…get out of the way! And all of my vitriol is aimed at the poor man sitting across from me who’s only trying to use his best strategy…just like I’m doing.
If I’ve got a winning streak going, I’m ecstatic. And that feeling hangs around for the rest of the day.
It’s been an ugly revelation. I hate to admit how easily my mood can be altered by something so superficial and unimportant. As our mothers told us, “It’s only a game!” But it’s got me thinking about all of the other things that affect me so easily. Anybody else let the number on the scale set the tone for the day? I recently read a blog post written by a woman who’d lost 100 pounds. Every morning on her way to that goal she’d trudge to the scale and, if her weight had gone down, it was going to be a good day. She’d put more energy into her workout, then spend a little extra care on makeup and picking clothes for work. That sense of victory stuck with her throughout the day. But…if the numbers said she hadn’t lost, or worse—she’d gained, it was going to be a miserable day. Unmotivated, she might skip her workout altogether then put on something loose and sloppy, give her face and hair the bare minimum, and trudge out the door for the day.
If she were my friend, I’d want to smack her silly. (In love, of course.) “Come on, girl, look at the big picture! You’re halfway to your goal! Put down those Cheetos! You’re doing great! Don’t let a little setback define who you are today!” But…will I believe the same kind of encouraging words if I say them to myself? Nope.
Add poor book sales, a one star Amazon review, or a perceived slight from a friend, and it all makes for an arsenal of things ready to go BOOM!
Here’s what I’ve figured out:
1. When it comes to losing at board games…I need therapy! If I’m playing with one of my grandkids, I’m thrilled for them when I lose. If I’m playing with friends, I just don’t really care either way. Clearly, there’s a deeper issue here and It’s going to take some serious alone time with the Lord to sort it out. I’ll let you know how that goes.
2. With everything else…the problem is my eyes are on ME. Why, when I know in my head that I am a cherished child of God who is righteous in His sight because His Son gave His life for my sins, do I care about such shallow, external things? Because, like Peter walking on the water, I’ve temporarily put my focus on something other than the pure, perfect, complete, beautiful wonder of a loving savior.
3. Losing is the antidote to being a poor loser. Lose the pride. Lose the desire to be the best. Lose the jealousy, and the need to be right. Lose the idea that you are defined by winning or losing.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3 ESV
“We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.” Romans 6:6 NLT
I’m keeping these verses handy for reference. I’m tired of letting my emotions get blown around like dandelion fuzz in the wind! I am NOT a slave to comparison, pride, or self-condemnation.
What triggers a lousy attitude for you? What helps you be a good loser?